The Hunter Games
by Whirlpool833
Summary: Fatniss Everbean reluctantly volunteers instead of her sister, Dim, to enter the vile Hunter Games. With help from her friends, Feta, Puffy and Heybich, she may just survive. A comedy based on the award-winning novel The Hunger Games by Suzzane Collins and may just make you rethink some of the characters in it. Rated T for violence and mild adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Fatniss Everbean, and today is the day where the Capeetol picks people to enter the Hunter Games. What is the Hunter Games, you ask? Well, it is when people from each district, one boy, one girl, enter an arena and fight. Sounds simple, am I right? That's what you think! Yeesh, I better not get picked, even though I put my name down twenty times for freeeee resources, I mean, c'mon! They were free! Sort of! Anyways, whatever, I won't get picked, I've had some pretty good luck today! I got some bread from Bale! A bit stale, but ah well. My sister Dim is wearing a pretty blue dress and I am wearing a dress too, my Mom is so annoying and forced me to wear it! We all stand in big lines waiting for Puffy Tinkle to read who would win (ha lose) to enter the hunter games. She says, "Ladies first!" Haha lol. I won't get picked, I won't get picked...

Just my luck today.  
It's Dim.  
My sister...  
Ah, well at least it's not me! Everyone looks at me, what? Am I doing something wrong? What am I supposed to do, volunteer? Heck, no. Well, ok, I will. But, first I must watch Dim dramatically go on to the podium, this is on TV after all. Alright now, I slow motion run and slowly run up to Dim.

"DIM!" I cry, I am doing well, other people are starting to cry too, yes! "I VOLUNTEER! I VOLUNTEER!"

Everyone gasps, and so I freeze. However, stupid senseless Puffy is delighted and invites me on stage. If I enter an arena, I must look memorable, so no one will truly forget me! So I stride up on stage. Puffy says my name, Fatniss Everbean. I tried to look stern, but is it not a crime to enjoy luxury before you get thrown into an arena to die? I don't think so.

"Fatniss Everbean! Interesting name! What were you named after?" She asked, her eyes eager to embarrass me, stupid Puffy.

My name has a story...

It is why I hate my mother.


	2. Chapter 2

My mother (7 months pregnant with me) and my Dad were walking in the woods one day, (oh btw my Dad is dead now, but this is in "humor" not "depressing" so I won't go in to detail on that) and they saw a plant, Katniss, and they though, "What a perfect name!". However when I was born I turned out to be a massive baby and I had temper tantrums about not having a name with a "f" sound in it (I was weird back then ok) and so Mom thought, "I'll change it to Fatniss! How splendid!" So I have all rights to hate my mother.

Meanwhile I was standing there with Puffy, while she was clearly making fun of my name! So I thought of a genius reply and thought I'd say it aloud.

"Well, it's a long story. But you clearly have no right to be complimenting me on my eccentric name when you have such a fabulous and extravagant name, Puffy Tinkle! I am so jealous!"

I was using big words, not in my vocabulary of words such as "duh", "dunno" and "lol" (though lol is not technically a word). She gave me, a deep, hard glare, ooh, drama, the audience is going to LOVE this.

"Anyways," she says, in order to not get to caught up with me publicly insulting her, "boys next!" She took out a slip of paper and read, "Feta Meparkey!"

As we walked through the crowds, I thought, hell, that's a man right there! If he so much takes his shirt off I'll melt! He is wearing a blue shirt and white trousers. He has sandy blond hair and dark, daring brown eyes. Suddenly I recognise him, he's the one who owns the cheese store, the one which I always look into and smell the luring aura of the inside. The name Feta is just as bad as mine, I love it! He looks up at me as he's walking, this was my chance! I batted my eyelashes furiously, as if to say, notice me! And then, to my disappointment, he looked away. Are you kidding me? He could have at least flirted back, rude.

Stupid Puffy doesn't even realise what's going on as he steps on stage. She is just her usual, delightful and annoying self.

"Splendid!" she says. "Now let's welcome to the stage, the one of our two victors from this district who is alive, Heybich!"

"What did you just call me?" Heybich booms from behind.

She facepalms. "Sorry, I mispronounced it an added a "t" but really COULD YOU JUST COME ON UP, WE HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME ON TV!"

Now he comes on. I expected a handsome knight, no, prince with shining armour with short brown hair, deep blue eyes... and single. Single was the most important one. But instead came out this big, fat, drunk dude, (he was even holding a bottle of champagne as we speak). The appearance on his face told me he was definitely single, only I wasn't too worried about that anymore.

"Ah, nice new contestants, how old are you?" he points to me, in his drunk daydream world, he probably doesn't even realise that it is rude to point at people.

"I am sixteen." I say bluntly. A lot of people say I act way younger than the typical sixteen year old, but they're just saying that to make me act immature.

"You look no older than thirteen!" he laughs, and wins some other laughs from the audience.

I frown, everyone is trying to embarrass me today. First Puffy, then hot dude *cough* Feta, and now Heybich. That sucks, I already have people to fight against before I even enter the damn arena.

We are then brought to a giant building in the Capeetol, where all people who were chosen will be staying. They take me into a fancy room, and honestly, it's luxury. There's a queen-sized bed, a red-velvet rug, and a freeeeee box of chocolates, I love it!

They tell us to get some sleep, but I am not tired, so I lie with my eyes open like a creepy stalker person all night. I do this until Puffy asks me to get up, (one step ahead of ya Puffy) and go onto the next stage, the parade, where all triboots dress up and walk a mile, and the crowd either boos or cheers. She says I'll love my stylist.

But Puffy would like people who were like her.

Some one from high standards and dressed up so much they looked like a dumpster from art class.

Oh dear.


	3. Chapter 3

This was it. I'm in a white room with a bath, sink, a white couch and I am in a simple thin white robe. Three fat people walk into the room, each one was died pee yellow and had gold hair, this can't honestly be my prep team!

"Ah," one sighs, looking at me, "we have a lot of work to do. Please unchange!"

Unchange, ha, no way! I am not unchanging in front of these three imbeciles! Hell, no! I shake my head furiously, is this what everyone must endure? Probs not the rich ones, this is just the spa treatment they get every week, meanwhile, I don't think I can handle this.

They obviously know what I'm thinking, they all sigh in unison. One steps torwards me and rips off the robe I was wearing! The robe is torn to shreds, I rather liked that robe! Dang it! They all gasp, as if they've seen a ghost. They hold it for a few seconds and look towards them. They are still still. Have they all been turned to stone by Medusa? What is it guys, what? I am beginning to panic, wha-

Then they all start laughing, "You're so hairy! I think I nearly fainted there for a moment!"

I glare a menacing glare. Really? Must they do this to me?

Two hours later I am finally "normal looking", as my prep team says. Really, I don't like it, in fact I would love my hair on my body back! No one will even see it unless I have the guts to run around naked in the hunger games. Which, I think not!

"Your stylist must see you now! Time for dinner!" They all pipe in unison and leave. It's hard not to hate them.

Dinner, nice I'm starving! I will eat seven whole chickens before my stylist even arrives! Then a man with a green shirt and jeans comes into the room.

"Nice, a waiter!" I go into sleeping pose on the white couch. "For starter, rich tomato soup! For main course, twelve chicken breats with mashed potatoes and rice! As for desert, a large chocolate fountain and marshmallows! Get to it!"

He looks confused, "I'm not a waiter, I am your stylist."

"WHAT?! But my prep team said it's time for dinner!"

"First of all, it's seven 'o' clock in the morning. Second of all, my name is Dinna!"

"Oh," I say, getting annoyed, "well then, this is awkward! Now what you gonna put me in! Please note, I have allergies to dust, so even though my district is known for coal mining, please do not make me naked with coal dust!"

"Well," he smirks, "recently, I've been studying the art of fire!"

"Oh, no!"

"Oh, yes!"


	4. Chapter 4

It is nearly time for the parade! I am in a black unitard and have a cape which is coloured in red, blue, yellow and orange. They are going to set it on fire, help me! Maybe if I pinch myself really, really hard I'll wake up back in my district. Here goes nothing! I close my eyes and begin to pinch, ow ow ow ow ow OWW! I open them. Nope, still in this hazardous costume!

District 1 comes out, they wear outfits made of jewels and everyone cheers furiously, dang it! It goes on and on until District 11 comes out dressed up at trees, yeesh, they have a terrible stylist. I feel a bit bad for Coo, she's only twelve and is being thrown into this stupid outfit, but I can't help laughing at Mesh! LOL.

Now it's our turn. Feta is wearing a red, orange, blue and yellow light unitard that looks so damn sexy on him. Now what will I do? I shut my eyes, if this is the day of my death, I don't wanna see Feta's devastated face, even though he'll probably just be double-checking that they won't do the same to them. The doors open up, and Dinna, lights my cape.

"It's not real fire, it should just light up the cape!" he then looks at him match box and realises he used the wrong one! "Ah, right, just try to stay calm!"

I will not stay calm, I am really on fire!

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream, going into panic.

I sprint pass the other tributes with my arms flung in the air, with a fire trail following behind me. I realise, I'm actually a pretty fast runner. I am speeding pass the crowds, screaming a loud, "Help me!" We need to run until we get to President Bow's mansion! I don't know if I'll make it, unless if someone if doing insanely well with the crowd, I'm being featured on TV.

I get to his mansion long before any other tributes. I am huffing and puffing and I rip off the cape, only it didn't get destroyed. Dinna is already there and is clapping,

"Well Done! Of course it wasn't a real fire! But it means you proved that you were a fast runner, and by yelling, "help me", the audience thought you mean't, "help me in the arena!" You will get loads of sponsors for sure!

"You could have told me! Dang you!" I run into my room, turn on the telly, and rewatch me screaming.

I will admit, I do look pretty darn cool. Maybe Dinna was right. I do feel bad for Feta, he is now walking by himself, and is not being shown on TV a lot. Now that I'm in my room, it is District one being featured mainly.

They'll get all the sponsors for sure.

Unless...

I score high in training.


	5. Chapter 5

Training is simple, there's all these stations you go to, then you train and train at different ones and then at the end the Gamemakers from the Capeetol give you a rating out of twelve. But first our mentor, the last boy or girl victor depending on your gender will give you guidance on what to do during it. So, since there's only one alive, Feta and I must be sharing a mentor, which means it must be... Heybich.

Oh dear.

I have a meeting with him today, so I suppose I'll be sharing it with the hot dude. It must be a secret that I kinda love him because if he's the last one left in the games, no one will be too surprised if I must kill him, so that's that! Speaking of which, they are both walking in right now. Heybich is holding a bottle of red wine about a meter long and is in a tuxedo. Feta is still wearing that blue shirt from the reaping, it looks so good on him. Feta sits next to me, it's a start, and Heybich sits across from us. We are silent for a while.

"Heybich," I say slowly.

"If you call me that one more time," if this were a cartoon, steam would be rushing out his nose.

"NO! No, Heybich, I mean't your actual name, not... that. Anyways, what shall we train to do in training?" I asked.

"Dunno," he shrugs and takes another big sip of his wine. "What you wanna do, I guess?"

"Seriously, Heybich!" Feta stands up, suddenly angry. "We could die because of your drink!"

He holds the bottle tight, suddenly protective of it, and I thought I was messed up, "you insult the drink, you insult me! You're angry at the drink, you're angry at me, and no one is angry at me!"

"No, no Heybich, I didn't mean tha-"

"NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME A *****! YOU IDIOTS MENTOR YOURSELVES IF YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME!" He storms out lf the room, slamming the door behind him.

We turn to each other.

Now we're really doomed for training.

But oh well. We practice knot tying, trap setting and nature. I can't do any of does things, I realise, so maybe I really won't win. I'll try the bow and arrow, I s'pose. As soon as I grab the bow and arrows, a power surges through me, like I am immortal. I shoot the arrow, it swivels, it turns...

It hits the middle of the target

YES! I FEEL SO STRONG! I AM SPINNING SHOOTING ARROWS RAPIDLY, I AM SO COOL, I AM SO COOOOOOL! YES! YES! YEEEESSSS!

It takes a moment to realise everyone is watching me. They're all crouching in the corners of the room, covering their eyes. Arrows are dotted around all areas of the room. Coo is actually starting to cry, bless her, but everyone else stares at me furiously. I may have gotten a bit carried away...

But that won't stop me from presenting it to the Gamemakers.


	6. Chapter 6

This was it. I must get a good score in training, it's the only way for me to get sponsors. I am dressed an orange top an red shorts, the colours of fire, as Dinna would say. Speaking of which, I'm starving! I am gonna die of hunger, I can't die before I enter the arena! I have to at least not be forever known as the stupid person who somehow died before they even fought a single person! When will it even be my freaking turn? Does it always have to be district 1 first, disrtict 12 last, because it sucks!

Baito is doing so well, he had a knife and was aiming it at pictures of other tributes, including me, which was just rude! But the judges were impressed! As he walks backstage he gave us a look each as if to say, beat that! And, oh I will, after he just threw a knife at paper-me!

Eventually we came to Coo, she had a tray of many different plants of which I had never heard of and a slingshot. She hit a lot of different plants, clearly aiming at different ones, but why? Then she picks all of the remaining plants and eats them. She hadn't been poisoned. She had hit all the ones which were poisonous or inedible. She should at least get a ten.

Then it came to me! I bring out loads of loads of balloons, each full of confetti and shoot each one, well, I missed a couple, but still! Each one explodes into confetti! Marvellous, but the judges weren't looking, they were looking at their, at their, chicken dinner. I'm so... hungry, I could explode... they can... eat when I... can't. I must hold on... but someone has brought them each a delicious creme brulee, OH THAT IS THE FINAL STRAW! IF I CAN'T EAT DINNER, NEITHER CAN THEY! Without thinking, I shoot their big bowl of creme brûlée, and then straight afterwards an arrow goes through the chicken. Ha lol, that'll teach them a lesson, I stride out of the room, no one eats dinner in front of me when I'm that hungry and gets away with it.

Heybich, Feta, Puffy and I all get together on a couch to watch the scores get given out. I bring popcorn for Feta and I, Effie brings chocolates for herself and Heybich brings a large bottle of chardonnay, what a surprise. I can't even stay mad at him though, as long as I get that twelve I deserve, and am cuddled up with Feta. Life couldn't be more perfect. We wait for a while, but eventually they interrupt us during our episode of Stranger Things. The Scores came out, we all hold our breath.

Baito got a ten

Glove got a nine

Mesh got a ten

Coo got a seven

Feta got an eight

I got a one

"WHAT?" I scream. "A ONE?"

"What could you have done for them to give you a one?" Puffy asks.

"I- I shot their creme brûlée," I splutter.

"WHAT?" Heybich and Puffy shriek.

"That is a shortcut to a one! Were they not paying attention to you?" Heybich sighs.

"No-no I was just really hungry," I admit, and Puffy facepalms.

I notice Feta isn't saying anything, I swear I even see him smirking a bit. I wonder if he admires me a bit, my self esteem is very high, I am sure he's just finding it hilarious that I got a one.

My training score was a zero, my outfit in the parade didn't get noticed whatsoever, how the hell will I get sponsors now?

There's only one more thing that can get me sponsors for the games.

The interview.


	7. Chapter 7

This time Feta and I are being coached separately. First I have 3 hours of Puffy, then 3 hours with Heybich, 6 hours of pure torture! Then at nine we have each a three minute interview with Beeser Bickerman, hopefully he will be feeling nice and won't mention my one in training, because that would just be embarrassing! All of this worry just because I shot ONE creme brûlée! That sucks!

I have Puffy with me, and she is giddy to teach me all she knows, okay, now I'm worried.

"Fatniss! I am so excited to teach you! Now, I will be teaching you your manners such as how to walk, how to sit and how to talk! Fabulous! Now just this once and just for this session, you will be wearing my best ball gown!" She pulls out this massive dress, it looks more like a wedding dress than an actual thing you'd wear more than once.

She must see my face in the dress, and sighs. I suppose she thought I'd love it, if only she knew. We spend all those stupid three hours her trying to get me to walk in such large heels and how not to trip over her big, big, big dress. When they are all up, she sighs, she thought I would do a lot better.

Now I'm with Heybich, and as I walk in he asks me a big question.

"How would you describe yourself in one word?" He asks

I think for a second and say, "Awesome." he facepalms.

"Ah, that's not going to work, is it? Let's try different ways for the audience to know you!"

And apparently, I can't do anything. I am about as romantic as, "a dead slug", Heybich says, that I took as a huge insult. I don't have the arrogance to play cocky, or mysterious, or funny, or cunning. When the three hours are up, he stomps out of the room, not saying anything, I blew it, didn't I?

It's time for Dinna to come in and give me an outfit to wear for the interview. He's taking a while! Why could be taking him so long, really? I am on in, like, twenty minutes! He finally comes in with something clearly behind his back. He asks me to close my eyes! Really? I'm not a kid, I'm a freaking sixteen! I feel fabric, it's very, very soft, very nice. I open my eyes, and I'm wearing a short dress with different colour gems on it, I won't trip on it. And the heels were half the size of Puffy's, I could walk in them. Dinna had done great, maybe I will get at least on sponsor after all.

I decided what personality I would pick, I'll do deadly, kind and weird, because I am just going to be myself, and the audience better be okay with that, or they'll never taste a creme brûlée again in their life. Lol.

I got there just in time to see Coo's interview. She was dressed as a little pixie with wings, cheesy, but it was working! Beeser was congratulating her on a seven in training, when the buzzer went off for three minutes up and she had to leave the stage. It's my turn now. I walk on stage, no one clapping for me and took a seat. Beeser decides to break the silence by asking me a question.

"So what's been your favourite part of being here?" he asks.

"Well, obviously the dinner!" I grin.

"Ah, yes, your stylist!" Beeser thinks he knows everything, but that has nothing to do what I had meant. "Speaking of which, I love your outfit!"

I find myself gritting my teeth, "Yes, of course, very nice!"

He sees I am getting mad and so decides to change the subject, but he can only think of one damn thing to speak of, "so, how about that one in training, eh?" Then there's an awkward silence.

"They're very afraid of me," I say in a deadly tone at last, "those Gamemakers don't want me to win, they're setting me up!"

He looks a bit surprised, "well maybe they're not exactly..."

"Oh, but they are! Stupid, senseless Gamemakers want to watch me die, so they want to limit all of my chances of winning, that way I am a target, poor me, no sponsor to help her, no one to pity her..."

Then the buzzer goes off, and he looks relieved and bids me farewell.

Then it is Feta's turn. He does really, really well, too! He plays as a good person and makes the audience laugh a few times.

"So do you have anyone who loves you?" Beesar asks.

"Well, um, not really, but-"

"Come on! There's gotta be someone!"

"Well, she gets all the boys in district twelve, such a shame she must enter the arena too."

OMG!

Hot Dude means me!


	8. Chapter 8

There is a massive round of applause before the buzzer finally goes off. I stand there, stunned. Feta loves me, feta loves me. I love him too! I LOVE HIM! I LOVE HIM!

As soon as we get off the glass elevator, he gets a glass of grape juice, and I kiss him. It felt amazing, kind of like one of those teen romance movies where people kiss and kids are just like, "Ewww!". It was tomorrow when we'd enter the arena, so I beter get all those kisses out of him. To my disappointment, instead of wrapping his arms around me, he shoves me, so I go straight into a wall, and a vase falling on my hands. My hands are now covered in blood, and pain is all around.

His face says he's panicking when I yell, "What was that for, you jerk?!" My hands stung, they would definitely scar!

"I don't love you!" He yells. "It was just for the cameras, you idiot! But, listen, I didn't mean to hit you that-"

I suddenly kicked him, right in the private parts, and pride in watching him jumping up and down, holding them, letting go of his grape juice. Blood began to ooze from is pants rapidly. Puffy and Heybich walk out of the elevator and are shocked. It is illegal to fight other tributes, because they throw you into that damn arena no matter what state you're in.

"What the heck? Medic, medic!" Puffy rushes off to find a nurse.

Heybich's face is stern, "You idiots," he mutters, "you now both have a severe disadvantage in the arena, no matter if you get any sponsors or not!" He stomps off.

In the nurse, my hands are bandaged, the nurse said it should get better by tomorrow, but I'm not certain. Turns out, I didn't really hurt Feta that badly, he just spilt his grape juice on it. Damn you Feta!

When I wake up, the nurse was right, they are as good as new, but I still don't trust Feta. I go downstairs, and stuff myself, it may be the last proper meal I'll ever eat. And guess what I have for desert, creme brûlée! Well, ten of them! Who cares? I've definitely eaten enough for it to count as three meals, but what I say is, just keep eating, just keep eating, just keep eating, eating, eating!

Then they take me to this room, where they hold me down to a chair, making sure I cannot escape.

A lady comes in and warns, "This will hurt!" , and injects a tracker into my arm. OWW! IT HURTS! IF THESE PEOPLE WEREN'T HOLDING ME DOWN SHE'D BE DEAD! She walks off and then I enter a tube, it closes behind me.

I am about to enter the arena.

"Is this a bad time to say," I yell, "I NEED TO PEE!"


	9. Chapter 9

I need to pee so bad, but Dinna has dressed me in this full black outfit and sent me in my pod. I will wet my pants! And to make things worse, it is a half hour journey to the actual freaking arena. I am hopping about in my pod and rolling on the ground. I am going to burst! I realise, when we enter the arena, I'm gonna have to pee by a tree, so uncivilised, it absolutely sucks! I am suddenly furious at the Capeetol for doing this to us, making us kill each other for pure entertainment, I bet they'll even film me peeing by a tree!

Finally I make it to the arena. If we step over the small podium we each stand on, we're doomed, AKA, blown up by landmines. We all are in a circle around the Mournodopia, a small place with resources. I see a lot of things, a camp set, that could be handy, a bow and arrows, very handy, a backpack, but that could have anything, and a creme brûlée. Wow. I am not falling for that trap, you stupid Gamemakers! The buzzer will go off in any second, I gotta get all of those things, well, maybe not all, but at least most of them! The buzzer goes off, and so I run and run and run to get that sweet, sweet stuff! I grab a creme brûlée and a backpack. Perfect! Just the camp set and the bows and arrows left! I get the camp set and stuff it into my backpack as well as the creme brûlée, but some idiot girl from district 1 gets to it first and makes off with it. Now to run away! Only I am just a bit late as someone sees me and throws their knife at my ear! It misses me by a hair but I catch it, and now I have a knife! Woo hoo! I run into the trees, and after running for what seems like a mile I check behind me, there's no one there. Nice!

I find a tree, and consider peeing, however realise I don't really need it anymore. I should set up a camp, I do have that camp set after all. This is a nice place, it has flowers and a large space. Then I realised not to get too attached to it, I will probably have to move in a bit, unless I hide! I could attach the sleeping bag to the tree and sleep there, no one will find me! How perfect! I climb up the tree like a squirrel, Bale, the one who gave me bread in the beginning, always called me a squirrel for how fast I climb trees. I attached the sleeping bag to the tree and got inside. I was tired, but I had to know what was in that bag. There was about a litre bottle of water, some dried fruit and some bacon! I love bacon, I have a creme brûlée and some bacon! Could things get any better?

"Over here!" I hear Baito yell as he pushes pass the trees and into my space.

But I guess they can get worse.


	10. Chapter 10

Hide! I climb higher into the tree and attach myself onto it. Hopefully, they won't find me, maybe if I throw a rock at them they'll die, and I just realised just how unlikely that is, so maybe not. Suddenly, I see them in the space. Baito is looking so, so muscly, he has many other tributes with them. I have to find some way of killing them, maybe. I look down and see Feta is with them, fine. If he wants to team up with jerks so I can kill him then I have no problem with that.

I am suddenly shivering, something's not right. Someone's watching me. Hopefully, they are seriously checking me out, saying how sexy I look in this tree, and not trying to kill me. Just in case if they are though, I lean against the tree with my leg up, twirling my hair, if this is what I gotta do to get the guy then I'll do it. I suddenly see eyes peering at me through a tree, it's Coo. I'm equally relieved and disappointed at the same time. She points upwards. Nevermind about that, I really wanna talk to her about everything!

"Hey Coo! How ya doing? Wanna sit down and have some creme brûlée with me?" I then immediately cover my mouth, now they'll definitely see me, oh great.

She points upwards again and then vanishes into the trees. I think she's trying to tell me to look up. Should I? Either way, Baito and his friend squad will find me soon enough, so it's a risk I should probably take. I look up. Why is everything bad happening to me? There is a tracker-jacker nest right above me, tracker jackers are a bit like wasps, only ten times as deadly, very few survive with more than three. I gotta get out of here, somehow.

"Fancy staying up there, eh?" Baito looks up and says, dang it.

I think about it, maybe I can be friends with Baito, I just need to be honest with him, "yeah! Wanna come up and share some creme brûlée with me?"

He turns to Dimmer from District 1, she is holding some bows and arrows and says, "Shoot her."

Well, so much for being friends, huh, Baito? Turns out this girl cannot shoot to save her life, she misses me over and over again, until she eventually gives up and nudges Baito, as if to say, "you deal with her, if you are so cool!". He sighs and takes out a knife, the same type and brand as mine, and attempts to saw down the tree, the knife would be great for cutting small branches, but it was absolutely useless at sawing the large, thick trunk, and it just breaks. He still hasn't given up though. He now tries to climb up the tree, but he was hopeless at climbing, he moved at about a mile per hour speed. Every time he took one step, I rapidly climbed three more, he was only young, about my age, but he was climbing up like an old granny. He finally gave up completely and shrugged.

"Let her not be an excuse to not camp here. She is unable to move from that stupid tree, we might as well sleep, we can deal with her in the morning." He turns to sleep, but I really wanna desperately make friends with him, and everyone loves a good joke am I right?

"Hey Baito!" I call out, and he turns back to face me. "What time of day is everyone most upset in? The mourning!" I grin, but he gives me a dirty look and focuses again on sleeping.

What does everyone have against jokes these days? After climbing all that way, I am now above the tracker-jacker nest, and I have everything with me in my backpack. What if I saw off the thin branch holding the tracker jackers to kill them all! I am such a dang genius! When everyone is asleep, (no one is staying awake to keep watch, idiots), I manage to break through the branch, letting it fall, watching it go down, the branch believed it could fly, it believed it could touch the sky, only, it doesn't . It lands on Baito's face.

Baito wakes up, and performs the most high pitched baby scream I had ever heard in my life, and I have a younger sister. About three sting him and he is running with his arms flung in the air, followed by Feta. Yes, I got Feta! All the others manage to escape, one had about ten, I doubt he'd make it, however Dimmer had at least fifty on her, she was one hundred percent a goner. As she collapses, the tracker jackers properly eat into her skin before chasing after the others, when they are all gone, I see her rib cage, covered in blood. I see the bow and arrows, they're inside the rib cage. I climb down the tree, and realise the only way to get them is to pull them out. I shut my eyes, and pull the bow and each arrow out, each one is covered in either slime, blood, or, if I am unlucky, both. It is both disgusting, but it'll be worth it when I can hold that sweet bow with arrows. When it is finally over with, I go to a nearby lake and properly rinse them off, now they're as good as new.

And then I realise why I was able to do all this.

Coo.

I set off to look for her.


	11. Chapter 11

Where the heck is Coo? I've been walking for a while, and haven't found her! I nearly ran into Mesh's territory, and boy, he has too much stuff! I haven't even had my creme brûlée yet! Before I ask, no I am not going to share it with Coo, it's too special, I'll share with her some mini bites of bacon, when she is good to me, but the creme brûlée is for me, and only, me, not even Feta can take me away from it. Feta... I wonder how he's doing, then again, he did shove me into a wall, but I can't help but feel... no. As if. I punched him in the private parts, I got him back, I have lost all my respect for him, he can die. Meanwhile, I still have respect for Coo, because she warned me about the tracker jackers, she doesn't want me dead, at least not yet.

"Looking for someone?" I hear a small voice, definitely Coo's. "Trying to kill me, I see."

"No." I said, looking around, I don't know where she is, I can only hear her. "I want an ally."

"I am not stupid. You have a good knife and I've seen you with that bow, one step forward and you'll kill me."

"But I don't want to kill you, you see?" I throw my knife and bow on the ground, to create a dramatic effect, people watching this will love it, I am positive. "I will give you some bacon, and my creme brûlée!" I cover my mouth, whoops, am I that desperate to have her as an ally?

"Your creme brûlée? It's a deal!" She finally comes out of her stupid tree, and holds out her hand, damn it!

Giving away my precious creme brûlée? NO! I can't, I won't, I watch myself give it to her, it's like I am spectating my own body. She takes it and dips her finger in. She didn't even wash her hands! She just dips her fingers in the sweet stuff and before I know it she had finished it. That may be the last creme brûlée I would ever see in my life, and I had to watch Coo eat it right in front of me, she better be worth it. She smiles at me, and suddenly I realise just how adorable she is, with that little face grinning at me, she kind of reminds me of Dim.

"No one kills each other, no one betrays each other," she holds her hand out and I shake it, it's a deal, and she did eat my creme brûlée after all.

She is amazing with nature, I can kill, people should fear us. We'd be awesome together, I realise, if it weren't for Baito's gang. They are really strong, have many good weapons that vary, they have pretty much unlimited food... food! That's it! If we could find some way of destroying their food, we'd be unstoppable, I am so clever. My stomach is aching so much of hunger, one of those things when no matter how much you eat, you cannot fill up your stomach, I swear I could eat that entire pile of food, that may be what we have to do, but that would take us forever. We just need to burn it.

And of course.

Eat it.


	12. Chapter 12

Coo teaches me how to hide in trees, it's really simple. You need to go into a crouch shape so if people see you they'll assume it's a shadow, you have to move quickly but also be very, very quiet. If you make a small sound, you have to move rapidly out, in case is someone thinks to check the trees. It's so easy, and I'm so good, like I am at everything, boom! I can't wait to burn their stupid supplies, it'll be so much fun! I love fire! It is warm, and I love the wonderful colours, and it is so good at destroying things, I mean, it can be a _bit_ dangerous if you're not careful, but, that doesn't matter. However I realise, we will need something big to light a fire that fast, before Baito's gang return. Maybe if I close my eyes, and perform a magical ritual, a match, no, something stronger, a splint, will appear right in front of me. I close my eyes, I once did a ritual with someone called, "yoga", so this should be easy. There was one pose which I exceptionally good at called, "the tree pose", and since we're around trees, it'll be perfect! I begin by doing loud, hard noises which I sometimes see people do with their legs cross, and then do the pose. I hold it, still doing the noises, for about a minute and finally I open my eyes. I see a small, silver parachute float down from the sky, a gift from a sponsor! My ritual must have worked! I look inside, and to my surprise, I do not get a splint, I get a fire starting kit. Wow! I could use this many, many times, maybe I did get sponsors out there after all. My fire outfit was a flop, I got a one in training, why are people choosing to spend money on me? There was one more thing that could have gotten me sponsors, the interview... Feta... this is all because of him. I remember how guilty he looked after pushing me into the vase, maybe he doesn't really hate me after all, and I responded by kicking him in the private parts, instead I could have forgiven him, maybe I am really just an idiot.

But oh well, I can't think about him now, I have got better things to do than worry about him. I realise I should probably tell Coo my plan, maybe she can help. Right now she is trying to get the fire to light, so she will love this sponsor gift. We had set up a camp in the large space and we wanted a fire in the middle of it. I show her the kit, and her whole face lights up. She takes hold of it without asking, rude, and starts a large fire almost immediately. Then I realise, the fire would alert other tributes, meaning they'd find us! We rapidly put out the fire, grab hold of everything, and hide in the nearest hideable tree. Good thing too, because Baito and his gang walk by, and are annoyed when they see nothing. I suddenly realise Feta isn't with them, where would he be, I would know by now if he was dead, so where is he?

"Nevermind," Baito says, as everyone is frustrated how far and how quickly they came here for it to be worthless, "it was time for us to move camps anyway. Everyone's backpack is full, we have brought everything we needed. All the four of us need to do is kill that idiot Fatniss and Mesh and then the rest are easy!"

Coo looks a little annoyed, she is obviously offended, as they walk off to find their new camp, she mouths the word, "follow", and we follow them to their new camp. As we silently swing from tree to tree, I can't stop worrying about Feta, he must be alive, so then if he is, then where could he be? What has Baito done to him? Finally, they stop walking, open up their bags and dump all of the food and spare supplies into a massively big pile. The pile is absurdly high. He then agrees to keep watch, while his two allys sleep. He has a sly grin as they sleep, one day he will kill them, when they are no longer of use, but for now they can live. Coo and I don't think we should take on Baito with no weapons, well, then again, only idiots would, so we sneak back to our own camp. Hopefully, it will be a while until they move, because now we know their exact location.

After we are in our camp, we decide to make a plan on how to destroy or move their supplies. I mention my idea on the burning, and she likes it, only problem is, she says, is that they need to be somewhere further away, and preoccupied, so they will have the sense to ignore the fire. We realise that we will need to set up a fake camp. We take a few of our things, such as one match, some wood to look like a makeshift fire, and we also take some mint leaves as if to make the shape of a bed, and we go west from their camp, and move out all of our stuff in case they walked by ours, and set it light some splints and burn them out, that way they look like burnt out splints, we sacrifice some of our delicious berries and place them on a leaf beside the campfire, we even find some vines and hang them on trees around it, and it looks a little OTT (over the top, slang may be confusing, but it saves time), but it will have to do. Coo is going to light a fire and quickly hide, then Baito and his gang will be sure to go there, and then that'll give me the perfect amount of time to burn their food, so by the time they've realised they are about to lose everything, it'll be too late, MWAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, just felt like doing that, after all, our plan is just so EVIL!

We begin in the fake camp, I tell her when to start counting two minutes, for that is all the time I need to get to their camp, and then she will light the fire. When she starts, I race into a tree, swinging from branch to branch as fast as my arms could carry me, and believe me, when I want to be fast, I am fast. I am there by one minute, so now I just have to wait, and unfortunately, I am not good at waiting, I get bored really easily, so it is a long sixty seconds for me. Man, I want a creme brûlée right now, I have already finished the bacon, I am so hungry, maybe I can eat some of the resources, just some.

Finally, Coo lights the fire, and without thinking, the four of them rush to the flame, they want to kill us this time. I know what I need to do, I gotta light that fire, but I am so hungry, I must take some! I see an apple, I take it, I see a cupcake, I take it, and then I see a whole chicken. Coo will be so happy to see it!

I hear them from here taking a look at the camp, I hear Baito, swinging at every tree around, trying to find us, and can picture Coo smirking as she watches. I light the fire, and get into a tree, I eat the apple ravenously in the tree, this is perfect! I'll be sure to split the cupcake with Coo, and we can also split the chicken, we can be split buddies! I see them from the tree run to the stuff and let's just say, Baito is throwing an entertaining tantrum, banging his fist on the ground and screaming, "WHY?", his face has turned red like a pump- no, actually, definitely a tomato. I celebrate silently in the tree until the fire catches onto a tree and rises up to it, and is already crawling over the next one.

There's gonna be a forest fire.

You know, when I said I thought fire was just a bit dangerous,

Clearly I was wrong.


	13. Chapter 13

I am about to experience full-pressure, absolutely terrifying war with fire! I notice that the Capeetol was lighting more trees, so this will be a lot bigger than just the one tree. Oh great. I need to talk to myself, I do it sometimes when I need expert advice from a pure genius, well some say fight with fire, actually, it might just be a metaphor, but that won't spoil my dreams of being the hero and looking good doing it. I use the splint from the fire starting kit, and light it. I throw it at the fire, I am already prepared for success, I close my eyes, throw up my hands, and kneel on the ground, this will so good on TV, I hope I make it home to rewatch it. I open my eyes, no, the fire hasn't ended, in fact it's gotten worse. I guess it was just a metaphor really after all, that's disappointing, now I just look like an idiot on tv. I need to, think, think, think, think, what did I do the last time I was set on fire, I had to have lived to tell the tale, so I must have done something right. It can't have been too recently... oh, wait, it was. The parade, when Dinna used the wrong fire, well, he told me he did, imbecile, and I reacted by running as fast as I could screaming. Maybe that's what I need to do now. Just maybe. I just need to repeat everything that happened then...

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I scream, and sprint for my life.

You'd think it wouldn't be that bad, fire doesn't spread THAT fast, but the Capeetol finds this very entertaining and is rapidly lighting trees just as I run past them. As I do so even, my backpack is on fire, luckily I am holding the chicken, the cupcake and my bow and arrows in advance, but everything else is going to burn. My backpack is on fire just like my cape was, so I just gotta keep running. I am still constantly screaming and screaming, Baito's probably found me by now, but I don't actually even care! I just gotta keep running, just gotta keep my eyes open. Everybody's waiting for me to break down, everybody's watching to see the fall out, even when I'm sleeping, sleeping, just gotta keep my eyes open. Run, run, run, run, run.

Finally the fire stops, and my throat hurts from screaming that much, the Capeetol doesn't want me dead, at least not yet. I hear a screech of great pain, clearly someone wasn't as lucky as me. I breathe heavily, and then realise, I never saw Coo. I suddenly panic. I can't yell her name, my throat is too croaky for anyone to understand a word. I rip the backpack off my shoulders and throw it into the lake, the fire goes out. It's not too damaged, just black now, my knife may be a bit scorched after the flame. Now that that's sorted, I have to find Coo, she has to be somewhere, she must be in hiding.

I grab what's left of my bag and crawl into a tree. I begin searching. I search for about two full hours and she still is nowhere to be seen. I then see a hive, oh no, not a tracker jacker nest, I can't... no, it's just a bee hive, nothing serious, however I am very close to it. I am about to evacuate when I realise I'm stuck in a root. I try, but I can't pull my foot out, I'm actually stuck. A bee finds me, and before I know it I am getting stung. Okay, now I desperately need Coo. Maybe if I sing a song she will come and find me, it always works in movies. I know a song called the Hanging tree, however, it's a bit... grim. I decide to do my own based on it. Here's how it goes.

 _Are you, are you, gonna meet me?_

 _I'm bored and I'm scared, I'm stuck in a tree._

 _I've been stung by many bees_

 _And oh they do hurt me_

 _So please, come out, AND MEET ME IN THE TREE!_

I look around. I thought my song was truly beautiful, but no one has come out. I then think I hear Coo faintly whisper my name, before I hear the most high pitched scream, the only two people able of doing that are Coo and... Baito, I silently pray it's Baito, even though I follow the scream and am lead to Coo, trapped in a net.

I only have time to yell her name.

Before the spear enters her body.


	14. Chapter 14

I saw Coo collapse, I shot the boy who killed her before he could even take out the spear. I looked down at Coo, the spear was properly cut into her ribcage, it was pointless to pull it out, she was a goner. A tear went down my face before I could stop it, before I knew it I was crying. I looked down at Coo and found that she trying to speak. She was choking up letters, W, I stare into her, I, I await a final letter, N, she is trying to tell me to WIN. I nod my head slowly. I put my hand on her forehead slowly, it was ice cold. I felt her small but loving heart beat for the last time. She took one final breath, turned to face me, and then what was left of her lifeblood stopped flowing entirely. I knelt down and cried for a bit. If Baito comes he would kill me easily, for I have no will to fight. Then a silver parachute comes floating down to me, and there I see, a delicious and fresh creme brulee. My first instinct is to eat it, but instead I place in Coo's hands. I find nearby flowers and leaves and decorate her corpse with them. I walk away not turning back, she's in a better place now. I have the sense to smile a bit. I have to win this now, for Coo.

But I am alone now... what am I supposed to do apart from, hide in a tree? That's what I do, in fact. I eat the cupcake, maybe it's a good luck cake, and I can live for another day. I just want something good to happen, just one good thing. Then I hear a voice from a large speaker that appears in the sky, but instead of playing the new Taylor Swift album, it speaks.

"HELLO! HOW'S EVERYBODY DOING?"

Not great, really, I just watched my ally die, thanks for asking.

"WELL, I HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS! IF TWO TRIBUTES AT THE VERY END ARE FROM THE SAME DISTRICT, THEY BOTH LIVE, LOL!"

Wait, what?

I am stunned for a minute, until I have come to my full senses. The speaker disappears. I realise then I can be with Feta.

"FFFEEEETTTTTTAAAA!" I scream before I can stop myself.

I am an idiot, I was so loud, Baito will definitely find me now, and then I realise, this isn't just good for me. It's good for Baito too, for he and Glove are together, so he'll be caught up in looking for her. Then there's Mesh, who was in the same district as Coo, and then there's this girl who absolutely has made no impression on me whatsoever. She did fine in the interview, she did fine in the parade, she did fine in training, but I can't remember her face.

I am just about to go and look for Feta when I spot a fox also in the trees, staring at me. Foxes don't go into trees, so why is it there. Then there are arms with human clothes, and then I realise in the light she's that girl that I was just thinking about but in the darkness, she looks so much like a fox, FoxFace, I'll call her. So there's five of us left, Mesh, Feta, Baito, Glove, Foxface, oh, and me, so I guess that's six, dang it!

I pace back and forth through the arena, until I'm almost certain that I have covered every block where no other tribute is. Feta has to be here somewhere... surely he couldn't have...

"Hello." I hear a croaky voice say. "You may not see me, but I can see you."

I look around. Clearly the person who made the phrase, "if I can't see them, they can't see me", needs to have therapy. I look around once again. Nope can't see anyone, it's probably Baito behind me, about to kill me, please don't be Baito, please don't be Baito...

"Why are you looking for me?" I hear the voice say once again. "There's no point in killing me, I am already going to die."

Changed my mind, now I really hope it's Baito. Please be Baito, please be Baito..

"He knows where he cut me. When you threw the tracker jacker hive on us, I was blamed. You should just leave now, while you can."

Okay, dang it, it's not Baito. It's definitely Feta, because he wasn't in his gang the last time I saw him. But I cannot find him, and I swear I have checked every tree. I decide to give up and leave, when I see a head come out of the leaves. He has dug himself down into a massive hole and has covered his face in leaves, pure camouflage.

"He cut my leg, now I have absolutely no chance of surviving more than two days. The blood is slowly travelling up my chest, if it gets to my heart, let alone my brain, then I am a goner."

I gasp I know what he means, and we'd need seriously good medicine from the Capeetol to cure it.

You know what this means, right?

Doctor Fatniss must save the day!

Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?


	15. Chapter 15

If only I had an actual white jacket and stuff instead of this stupid black top, no one will take me seriously as a doctor now. What I need is a proper first aid kit, I'll just have to wait for someone to sponsor me. But for now, I gotta get him outta this dang hole which, for some reason, he thought was a good idea to put himself in. I am not very strong, I can't just lift him out of the it. Unless, if I have a sudden almighty adrenaline surge through me, and I feel brave enough to lift him right outta the hole, but that can only be triggered by strong feelings of anger, lemme think. That just because Dim got picked I had to volunteer, okay, I feel a bit angry, that Coo had to die because of that STUPID BOY WHO KILLED HIM! Yes, getting angrier, that they GAVE ME A STUPID ONE IN TRAINING ALL BECAUSE I SHOT THAT ONE STUPID CREME BRÛLÉE! I am beginning to steam up now, I am also angry that FETA SHOVED ME INTO THE VASE WHEN I KISSED HIM, yes I am infuriated! I AM GONNA GO INTO A BREAKDOWN! With all of my strength, I lift Feta straight outta the hole and into the lake. The lake will wash away all of the burns. He is sighing in relief as the water washes away all the dirt and mud in him. If I survive this then I'm going to become a doctor, and I will become famous too, well, to be honest, I'm already quite famous in the arena, but like, I mean, actual proper famous! However, we need medicine from the Capeetol to cure it, but I don't actually know what it is, so I think of everything we could never afford in District 12. Fresh fruit, that could soothe the wound, fish, the strong and fishy smell of it may distract him from the pain and agony, and wine. Wine! I watch a lot of teen romance comedies, and they drink wine, and they become in a sudden epic party mood and they forget about everything... and then they have regrets and end up vomiting everywhere... nah, I'm thinking of Mean Girls, it's not like that in real life, I'm sure. Besides... it'll be the best treatment ever! I'll even think of a name for it, fruit, fish, wine, FRISHINE! Now it's declared I will one hundred percent become a doctor when I'm older! I almost don't even care about Feta's life right now, just how awesome my plan is! Let's begin!

Grapes are easy to find, I find some growing right beside the lake actually! It's all I can do not to stuff them into my mouth right now, they smell so fresh, and they're not just any grapes, they're black grapes! My favourite kind! I may not be a wine expert, but I know that it involves grapes! I grab a bunch, only where do I put them? Suddenly I look up and see a sponsor gift floating down towards me, and it's a big cooking pot with a handle! Not just one, a whole set of small and large bowls, each with handles! I blow a big kiss in front of me, the cameras will HAVE to show it, and if they don't, well, that's their loss! I shove the grapes in and, it's not dark, so a fire isn't too big a risk, however, beforehand I pound some twigs into the ground, grab some vines to tie one large twig to balance on both of them, hang the cooking pot on them, make a fire underneath, and I have my stove! Awesome! I will admit, I don't exactly know how to make wine. It's not really what I do, I hunt, then my mother (still haven't forgiven her for my name) would cook it. I think you literally crush the grapes and then wine comes out, so that's what I do. I put them in the stove, get a large piece of bark, and crush the grapes. Even though I have never seen wine before, I am not sure I have gotten it exactly right. It just looks too... mint green. Ah well. I made a lot too, so I can put half in another bowl as well, that way I will still have some left after I feed Feta the FRISHINE. Next thing we need is a cooked fish...

"Fatniss!" Feta yelled, ah, whoops, I had gotten so caught up in it that I totally forgot about him. "Can I come out of the water now? It's been, like, an hour!"

"You've hung in there for one, you can handle another two!" I yelled back.

Anyways, what I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, I am going to have to cook the fish, or else, Feta is more likely to die than live from my FRISHINE, but the fish will be very easy. I go near the lake with my bow and arrow and skewer the first fish that swims by before it can so much finish the word, "help". It takes about twenty minutes for the fish to cook over the stove, then I crush it and add it to one of the half bowls of wine. Now I just need the fruit. I could use the grapes, but I already used them for the wine. Then I remember, I never ate the dried fruit which I found in the backpack from the Mournodopia. I can easily use these! I add all of them to the mixture, ugh, the fish really makes it smell terrible, and crush them. It smells terrible, The colour is not a hot, but an icky pink, did I mention that it smells terrible?

This is the closest I'll get to the special Capitol medicine. Feta looks up at me, he is clearly annoyed, don't blame him, I kinda abandoned him in the lake. Hopefully the FRISHINE is so exquisite and it cures him, and then I'll be a doctor when Feta and I both go home. I pick up the bowl and hand it to him.

"Um... Fatniss? I know you mean well, but I'm not that hungry right now..."

"Nope! You're going to swallow the whole thing!"

It takes a while but I manage to force the whole thing in him. I expect a sudden change, suddenly he's in a party mood and is completely cured of everything, but instead he's coughing and vomits right into the lake. I'll admit, I'm disappointed, I probably won't be a doctor when I'm older after all! I somehow made him more sick by my medicine.

"Foul!" he yells. "Disgusting! Revolting! And it smells so bad! What did you put in it?"

"Wine, fish and fruit!" I am annoyed at him for not liking it, and because he drank all of it, I drink the wine. Oh gosh, that's not wine, that's grape juice! This has all gone wrong!

I need proper medicine. I can't make it myself. Suddenly, another parachute comes floating down, oh! It's the medicine! It's in a pot. It is a small pot, maybe it's just really strong. I put a bit on my tongue, no, that's not the medicine, that's sleep syrup, enough to knock someone out for one day straight. But why would I need sleep syrup?

A speaker appears in the sky again, "HEY TRIBUTES, HOW'S IT GOING?"

You know what, Feta's going to die, I'm not feeling too good.

"WELL, WE HAVE A FEAST IN THE MOURNODOPIA!"

Well, we're not that hungry!

"AND SOMETHING YOU DESPERATELY NEED WILL BE IN THE BACPACK WITH YOUR DISTRICT NUMBER ON IT!"

Feta yells, "Don't you dare even think about going Fatniss! If you do, I will hobble to where you are and so Baito will kill me!"

Great, so Feta won't let me go to the feast, but if I use the sleep syrup I can knock him out for a day and go and collect the medicine he needs. But I'd be risking my own life, and Baito and Glove will, for sure, be attending, as well as Mesh and Foxface.

So what do I do?

Do I go?

Or do I stay?


	16. Chapter 16

Do I go or do I not go? This is tough. I can't pick, what AM I GOING TO DO? I NEED SERIOUS EXPERT ADVICE! Oh wait, then I can just talk to myself, duh. If I go I can save Feta, and I can truly become SUPER FATNISS! If I can't be a doctor they'll become a superhero. This will be so fun! However I'll need some way of disguising the sleep syrup that way Feta isn't too suspicious. When I first think syrup, I think of MAPLE SYRUP! And it is a very maple colour, he'll totally think it's maple syrup. However, how on earth will I make pancakes? All I really need is flour, eggs, and oil, maybe Feta has had a sponsor. I look inside his bag, and it is ridiculous how many prefer him to me! He has a full set of eggs, seven loaves of bread , eight bags of flour, a whole bottle of oil, sugar, and a fire starting kit. WHO WOULD PICK A BAKER OVER AN AWESOME, EPIC, CRAZY ARCHER?

"I promised to the audience if I got sponsors, then I would bake something for you, but I never got to it, because I was so injured and all." Feta sighed. "Speaking of which, could I please, please, please let me keep watch tonight while you sleep, people will be hurrying to the feast, and they might run by us!"

He is saying this, but I think he is really hoping that I won't go, he would be too weak to fight even little Coo, and I shielded the cave we found beside the lake pretty well with vines, they could fool an animal and human any day, except maybe Foxface. That fox is so smart to stay alive by staying hidden in the entire games so far, kinda like Coo, but, also like a fox, she is sly, and may kill us in our sleep, very unlike Coo.

Pancakes is my specialty, maybe because they're an easy dish. It's just flour, eggs butter and oil mixed together and then heated up and flipped. Pretty fun. I mix them easily and hang it over the stove. Now to flip it! I jerk my stove causing the unfinished pancake to truly fly. I catch it and throw it back into the pan. Nice! I flip it a couple more times, not to check if each side is cooked fully, but simple because it's so fun! Then I realise, the feast will start in about two hours, I better stop fooling around. I take the bowl off the stove and poured the sleep syrup right over it. I make sure to get it all in, it all has to go in, or else he won't fall asleep for long enough for me to go. When I serve the pancake to Feta, I expect him to be very pleased, but he looks slightly disgusted. I was about to slap him in the face, but then I remember, we're supposed to be in love, that's why the Gamemakers made us allys, after all. I need to be kind to him, so even as he looks at me like I'm a fool, I smile warmly.

"You said you never got the chance to bake you something, so I made some for you. I even got a sponsor with maple syrup, so I'd thought I'd make you an extra special treat!" My smile doubles. "Bon Appetit!"

"It's a nice idea, Fatniss, but I really don't like maple syrup. I'm sorry." he pushes away my wonderful masterpiece.

WHAT KIND OF IDIOT HATES MAPLE SYRUP, IT'S THE BEST KIND OF DRESSING EVER! That's what I really think, but of course I can't say that.

"B-but, love," he stares at me, probably surprised that I called him love, "you need it, you have to get your strength up, or you'll, or you'll-"

"Okay, dear," he smiles, now he's realised we are "in love", "I'll have your pancake, you made it all just for me," he even gives me a peck on the cheek.

He eats one third of it, and nods, "not bad," he says.

Then he takes another. One left to go!

His face looks somewhat puzzled, I don't really know what the syrup really tastes like, it just looked like maple syrup.

"It's a quite a bit more bitter." he says.

He takes one more.

"It takes a bit more like sleep syrup... wait! SLEEP SYRUP!"

I cover his mouth and nose as he tries to vomit it out. He knows I am trying to go to the feast, he is fighting desperately to not be forced to swallow it.

But he does it.

He is already nodding off, but as I leave, he croaks,

"Fatniss... I love you... please don't go... please-" he couldn't finish the sentence.

As I run off to the Mournodopia, I realise I can barely see.

I am crying.


	17. Chapter 17

I have to keep fighting, I tell myself. Only I can't. I am going to drown in my own tears! I have never cried this much before and realise I need to sit down. I lean on the back of a tree an dip my face into my arms. Get hold of yourself, Fatniss. Depending on if you woman up or stay here crying will depend on whether Feta lives or not. Thinking of this gave me the strength to keep going and more, I was sprinting through the tree like a cheetah chasing a horse. I had to get there before Baito or Glove did, or even Mesh. I really don't know who Mesh really is, I haven't seen him for the whole of the games. However I do remember him dressed as a tree, I laugh thinking about it, LOL. I have changed a lot since the games started, back then, I said LOL all the time, now I barely do, it's amazing how much you can change in just a week, if someone had told me before I volunteered that I'd be doing this, I wouldn't believe them, not only that, I'd slap them, saying I would never enter the hunter games, but, I looooved Feta so much back then, so I'd also give them a hug, and my number.

I make it to the Mournodopia, and there I see, Foxface already taking her stuff. I wish I could shoot her, but part of me really admires her for how sly she is, and just wants to watch. It's fine by me, if she takes her backpack, as long as she doesn't take mine, and I smile as she rushes off into the trees. This is simple, I'd just run up there, grab the backpack with Feta's medicine in it, and run back. If only it was that simple.

I then see Glove, on the opposite side of the Mournodopia to me. I can tell it's a race for the stuff. I am such a fast runner, duh, so I sprint and run all the way to the table with the stuff. Only problem is, Glove is fast too, and we get there at the same time. She batts her eyelashes, and then I see her fully. She has blonde curls, so blonde, you coukd tell she had had many highlights, and big dark, green eyes. So pretty, they twinkle like mad. I could stare at them for hours and hours-

Then I come to my senses and realise Glove has pounced on me and is taking her knife out right now.

"Works every time, " she smirks, but instead of spearing the knife through the centre of my heart, her smirk doubles and she says, "Brace yourself, Fatniss. I am going to exceed Baito's wishes, this will be the longest, most painful death you could ever even imagine and more." she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a spear, a dagger, and some spikes, and somehow, her smirk gets bigger. "I will also do it IN STYLE!"

She stares into the cameras, puts a foot on my injured body and lets her hair truly blow in the wind, she is doing a heroic pose over my dead body. She is probably hoping that when Baito and her go home together, that this will be printed on loads of fashion magazines, such as "Vogue". She is truly crazy. Does a complete lunatic have to be doing this to me right now? Haven't I gone through enough? Apparently not, as she takes a sewing needle with thread attached to it.

"I never got a chance to use this kind sponsor, but now it shall finally come to good use." she occasionally batts her eyelashes as she speaks, also for the cameras.

She takes the needle and threads it throught my skin. It hurts so much, I can't breathe. She sees my pain and cackles maliciously. She turns to me and what she says makes my heart skip a beat.

"Shame we couldn't do this with Coo, your little soft-minded ally. She would hate to see this, happen to you wouldn't she? And you don't even fight back. You're weak, me sending that boy to kill her was the best choice of my life! Weak, worthless, you-"

"IDIOT!" Mesh flies out of nowhere and now has Glove in a headlock. "YOU KILLED HER, THAT LITTLE GIRL!" He twisted her neck, she groans loudly and then falls to the ground. Her death is that fast. I quickly pull out the thread which Glove sewed in.

"She was your ally?" He says.

"Yes." I stammer. "We destroyed all of their supplies together. I decorated her body in flowers, I gave her my final creme brûlee!"

He got his fists, and was about to swing, only he realised he couldn't, he wasn't able to kill me.

"Take your bag and run." He cries. "Do it for Coo!"

"GLOVE!" I hear Baito cry in despair.

That was my cue, I ran back to the cave, got the medicine, injected it into Feta and passed out completely.


	18. Chapter 18

"Hello? Fatniss, hello?"

My eyes drifted open, and my nose became aware of the delicious smell of soup. I was in the cave, tucked into my sleeping bag, and Feta had lit up a flame beside me, so I was very warm. He was staring down at me. I blushed, does he forget that it's rude to stare? He is standing too, he hasn't done that in a while. His smile is warmer than I am.

"Thank goodness, Fatniss, you're alive! I made some soup for you, as I'm feeling much better today, and was feeling in the mood to gather some vegetables!"

Soup, yum! Vegetables, not so yum! Ah well, he ate my pancake, I gotta handle this soup. I take a sip, and wow, it's truly delicious, it's not vegetable soup, it's tomato soup! I love tomato soup, I finish it in about five minutes. I smile. And almost want to kiss him, almost. But he looks at me longingly, I can tell he does. He is really good at this whole act that we're in love, he is a hot dude after all, all the girls must love him. But, a kiss? I have never kissed anyone before, not even Dim, let alone being kissed! I don't know how it works! He was the one who shoved me into a vase! I suddenly realise what Heybich meant when he said that we both had a severe disadvantage in the arena, he didn't mean our mild injuries, he meant that now we must act in love, no matter how much we hate each other. I try to forget it, but it just makes me angrier, and I can't be angry to him, not on the cameras.

Here it goes, then! The kiss! His lips go all weird and then they move towards me, oh gosh. I'm scared, what's he gonna do, bite me? I don't wanna do this, I really don't. There is a reason that I have never been kissed before! Aaaaahhh! Help! I need to know how to respond! Maybe if I just close my eyes, and open my mouth, he'll just do all the work. Lovely. I open my mouth wide, and his lips enter it.

He reacts quickly and pulls them out straight away, and there is a new awkward atmosphere to take over the warmth. He is looking down, trying to avoid my gaze, and we are silent for a bit. Great. I just had to mess everything up, didn't I? Typical, typical me. But a camera flies in and enters our cave, it is probably hard to catch us in the dark. He sighs in relief, we can redo it, we weren't featured. But what would have been more interesting in the arena than a failed kiss?

I hear a sudden shriek, it is clearly a male one. Feta's right beside me, Baito's scream is way more high-pitched and baby-like, so it must have been Mesh! I rush outside and hear another shriek, and it says, "You won't get away with this, Baito!"

No.

No no no no no.

Mesh is dead.


	19. Chapter 19

Feta tries to reassure me as I have a panic attack/fit on the ground. And believe me, I am absolutely terrifying when I am angry, not as scary or as hilarious as Baito's, but still horrific.

"Fatniss, he was one of the strongest tributes, why does it make you upset that he's dead?" he says this without yelling, just very softly.

"HE LET ME GO! I WANTED HIM TO WIN IF WE DIDN'T! I DON'T WANT IT TO BE STUPID BAITO OR FOXFACE!"

"What do you mean, he let you go?"

I tell him everything, that I rushed off to the feast, was tortured by Glove, how Mesh killed her immediately and how he let me go with Feta's medicine.

"IF IT WEREN'T FOR HIM, WE'D BOTH BE DEAD!" I scream in his face.

"I know, Fatniss, he was a true hero. But if you don't want it to be, "stupid Baito or Foxface", " he even does air quotes on that bit, for effect, "then how about we win the Hunter Games! We can go home, help our families and love! We could have a future, Fatniss, we could live in the mansion in the Victor Village, where you go and live in if you win, and be in the District 12 section!"

This sounds okay, but then I remember one thing, "BUT THEN WE'D BE NEIGHBOURS WITH HEYBICH!"

"What did you just call me?" he says, imitating him. "You mess with the drink, you mess with me!"

"But, seriously, I think I accidentally pronounced it with a "t", sorry Hebich! Oh whoops! I did it again!"

This is too much, we fall to the floor and laugh until we are literally choking, and when I think I may have wet myself. Then I remember that we were "madly in love", and so I realise we need to have more kisses. I gotta milk all the kisses that he possibly has on him!

I turn to him and say, "but I'd be with you. We'd be together, nothing could take us apart." and then kiss him before he can so much reply, "yay!".

This was a good kiss. Our hands were clutching each others. In that moment we forgot that we were in the arena, we pictured ourselves alone in our own grand bedroom, with a huge four poster bed. We would never have to let go, we were truly free. We shut our eyes to make sure nothing could interrupt us, nothing could distract us. The audience will truly love this! We are so good at this act, we could be actors if we could only survive this dang arena, we could have a scene on Friends! Monica wouldn't stand a chance against me!

"Fatniss... that was wonderful!"

"I know... but we need food or else we won't have anymore! I'll go get some more!"

"Let me come with you! You can hunt, I can pick berries, we'll make an awesome team!"

He turns out to be hopeless at picking berries, and when he walks he is as loud as a depressed elephant. I catch two rabbits, a squirrel, and a turkey, and he has picked three berries.

"I thought you said you could pick berries!" I groan.

"You're just a quick hunter!"

"It's been three hours!"

"Well, berries camouflage into the wild. Animals come out immediately. Different talents are harder and easier to do for certain reasons."

"I wouldn't call it a talent." I sneer at him. "And I feel like I am talking to a ninety-year-old."

"Well, I'll just bring them back to the cave then!" he yells and stomps off.

"IF YOU CAN'T PICK BERRIES, YOU CAN AT LEAST MAKE LESS NOISE!"

However, I think I have caught enough meat to last for a week, so I follow him back to the cave. I cook the rabbit over a stove while Feta goes and picks more berries. He comes back later with a handful.

"Found a berry bush. Got a lot of these." he places them all down in front of me. "A side dish to go with the rabbit."

I stare at them and then shake my head, "those are poisonous, Feta, they are called Nightlock. They kill you before they even reach your stomach."

"WHY CAN'T I DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" he yells, drops the berries just outside of the cave, and stomps off to find berries which aren't poisonous.

"ONE THING YOU CAN GET RIGHT, IS THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY WALK WITHOUT BAITO HEARING YOU!" I call after him.

About an hour later he returns empty-handed. I am about to scream at him but then realise that we are supposed to be in love, and we haven't really done that since the kiss, so I just sigh and split the rabbit with him. He eats it slowly, he is clearly disappointed with himself.

"Never mind, Feta, you're better at other things."

"Such as?"

"Tomato soup!"

Wrong response. He is now facepalming.

"There weren't many berry bushes out there," I say, though Coo showed me plenty just around here, "I'll show you what I mean."

I go outside and realise that all of the Nightlock berries are gone, Feta must have ate them!

"FETA! YOU IDIOT! YOU ATE THE NIGHTLOCK BERRIES EVEN THOUGH I SAID SO CLEARLY TO NOT!"

He stares at me, confused. "I didn't eat one of them, Fatniss, are they all gone?"

"YEP!" and then realise, someone else must have ate them, but who?

I go outside and see Foxface about ten inches away from the cave, she must have stolen them and ate them for herself. The Nightlock berries are eating her soul. She tries to get towards me, with a knife, but then collapses. I rush back to the cave.

"Feta! I'll tell you what you're good at!"

"Nothing," he sulks.

"Nah-uh," I grin, "YOU JUST KILLED FOXFACE!"


	20. Chapter 20

Instead of celebrating, as I thought he would, he carries on eating his half of the rabbit. Although he fails to admit it, I can tell by how slowly he is eating that he feels rather guilty for killing Foxface. I remember once again how guilty he looked after shoving me into the vase, he was just trying to make a point that it wasn't true. He looks up at me, he has teary eyes which twinkle. I sit down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder.

"I didn't even know her," he cries, "maybe she has family who wondered if she actually had a chance in these games, that one day she might really come back."

Then I could almost hear Heybich whisper in my ear, "romance", and so I looked at him and squeezed him tighter.

"She would have died in a much more brutal way, had it been Baito. Even if we had died, Baito would've eventually found her, and then that would be the end," I put my head on his shoulder, "all there is, is Baito now. We can't do anything about it, it wasn't you fault she died. She was the one who stole the berries, and she had a knife, she would have killed us when we went to sleep."

He puts his arm around me, "but, I am not sure I can even kill Baito. I am not good at this, Fatniss. You should have left me to die, I am worthless."

"No, you aren't," I say, "you saved me. I would have died from the feast in my sleep if you hadn't fed me and heated me up."

"If it weren't for me, you wouldn't have gone to the feast."

"Oh, if only you knew."

This was my cue to kiss him lightly. It's not quite as long or as beautiful as our last one, but still truly wonderful. It lasts for about twenty seconds, until we let go. I smile at him.

We will have to battle Baito soon, so eventually, if we don't battle against him soon, the Gamemakers will get bored and find some way of bringing us to the same place as him. I want to make sure it will be hard for them to do it. I go outside and scoop up water, little by little, and before you know it, we have four full litres of water. I filter them all, so they won't think of doing this by removing our water supply, which I know they did in the last Hunter Games, but the tribute didn't give in, so there was no battle in the end, so the Gamemakers were made fun of. They killed his entire family.

I realise I have to be careful, one small thing against the Capeetol can have Dim dead, they are that evil, they could kill my little sister in a long, dreadful death or by aimlessly swiping a knife. I then also realise that if Baito gets Feta and I, he'll murder us in his own special way, I will not make people watch that. We have to kill him, no matter the costs.

We need a plan. We go outside, I find a long twig with a sharp edge, and we note down Baito's weaknesses and strengths.

"Strength is the first thing that comes to mind." I say to him immediately after we sit down. "He is very powerful and can kill someone with his bare hands."

"Then cunning," Feta says, "when I was, "allies", with him, he could trick anyone into doing as he said, all so he could lure them into a big trap and kill them."

I remember this, and suddenly turn on him, "then why did you join them?" I ask sourly.

"I had to protect you. Baito was after you, I was the one who convinced him not to kill you in the Mournodopia, that you had gotten a one in training and that it was a waste of time."

"HOW DARE YOU?"

"It was for the best, sweetheart, I did it for us."

There is no point in arguing with him, I realise. Even though, I may not have come to nurse him in the first place had I known he had said all that! I suppose, he hadn't really meant it, he just didn't want anything to happen to me. The audience is really loving the romance too, rumour has it in the arena is that part of the reason they made it so we could survive together is because someone collected a petition of ten thousand signatures and handed it over to the Gamemakers.

"He is also very smart with battle strategies." Feta says. "His plan was that while you were in the tree in the morning, he would grab a long stick and use it to detach the sleeping bag from the twig."

"Wow. Okay, then." I note it down. "Now let's go on to weaknesses!"

"You've seen him climb, surely?"

"Oh, yeah, rubbish! He also doesn't have the best... endurance."

"His high-pitched scream is so loud, all of the dogs stop to listen. Only, our human hearing can only hear so much, so most often no one does."

I pictured the baby scream he had performed when the tracker-jacker nest fell on his face. And then realise, the next day may be the day when we will have to either kill or get killed by Baito. We might be able to use his climbing weakness as an advantage.

Be prepared, Fatniss.

A lot is going to happen tomorrow.

It will either be the worst or best day in your life.

I wet my pants just thinking about it.


	21. Chapter 21

Feta sighs. I take off my pants and wash them, until they are about as good as new as they would ever be again. I sit in the cave with him, snuggling near the toasty fire. We eat as much meat as we can possibly stomach, except only one, which we save. We eat what turns out to be a lot. We are sick in fear of killing Baito. We find ourselves unable to sleep, even though we are both very, very tired. I don't want to kill Baito, I just want to go home! I even miss my mother! We eventually go to sleep, though it takes at least two hours.

In the morning we decide to get up and evacuate. Baito will come looking for us, so we need to go to a place which he hasn't already checked. We pack everything up, however, Feta has to carry the pots and pans and I have to carry the weapons, so our backpacks can each fit in a sleeping bag. We find it harder to leave than we thought, we liked the cave while it lasted, it was waterproof, a water source was right beside it and there was a lot of room. We attempt to not leave too much evidence that we were there, however we have to leave behind our wonderfully made stove, and what even more painful, throw it into the lake. My precious stove! No!

We go on walking for about a mile until Feta halts us.

"Fatniss, something's not right!" he cries.

"What is it?" I ask, now worried.

"The blood on my finger... it wasn't there before! Look!" His finger appears to be bleeding.

"You pricked it on a twig, you drama queen! I was really worried, don't give me false alarms!" I turn around and start walking ahead. "Now come on, Sleeping Beauty!"

He sighs and follows me. We don't get much further before Feta shrieks.

"What now?" I yell back, not even bothering to turn around. "Did you fall asleep for a hundred years?

"There's blood now all over my leg!"

"Aw, yeah! Of course there is, duh!" I take the sarcasm to extreme and start walking a bit faster.

"Look at youself!"

I sigh and look down my leg. To my horror, he's right. There is dried blood coated all around it, some not quite dry yet even! I look up into the sky... the sky! All of the trees have lost there leaves. Now I turn to face him.

"Feta, wha-"

Without warning, it is raining, but not in water, in blood! We run away, fast, the only place that is near enough to go to and live with shelter in is the Mournodopia! It's a big risk, but we have to take it. We huff and puff, but try to keep our mouths closed so we don't swallow blood. Where did the Capeetol even get this blood from? The thought freaks me out. We go through the circle of podiums, and surprisingly, the rain stops. I look around, but the rain is still going on from the other side. They lead us to where we would fight Baito, we fell for their sptrap! We try to get out, but now there is an invisible forcefield, blocking our escape. There was no use! Baito has just ran with his backpack on his head inside, and he spots us immediately. He gets out a knife.

"Well then, Fatniss. You have two choices. You can have a quick, easy death or a miserable and painful death from trying to stop me. Tick, tock, tick, tock! Pick!"

"Um, what about me?" Feta yelled, he just had to ruin the dramatic moment, didn't he? "Is this all about you and Fatniss fighting it out?"

He scowls at Feta, he clearly also didn't want his dramatic moment ruined. "You're just the cheese boy. You're a quick, easy death, I can't waste time on you."

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

"That would be more time wasted, though, wouldn't it?"

"YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE STILL STANDING THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"It would be so useless for me to not."

This is too much for Feta. He grabs a spear and runs and runs and runs to Baito. As soon as it actually looks like he may actually finish him off, Baito ducks his head by a few inches and it misses him by a hair. He pushes Feta backwards, knocking him out.

"You clearly want the second option, apparently!" He yells. "Typical you, not knowing what's best, clearly."

"FETA, WHY?" I scream in agony. "I WAS ACTUALLY KINDA WANTING THE FIRST ONE!"

He runs at me with the knife. I need to think fast. I rush up onto the roof of the Mournodopia and point my bow and arrow at him. He groans, attempting to climb up, only he manages to catch hold of every arrow I shoot. Every time he is nearly at the top I shove him down, making him fall and land on his tailbone! Ouch! I actually feel a bit bad for him. He is now limping. Next time I try to shove him down, he is prepared, and manages to cut me deep into the shoulder before falling on his tailbone again! I hold it down as it stings like crazy! He knows where he cut me, and cackles. I don't feel bad for him whatsoever anymore! I look up, my vision is hazy and I see stars. I then got a sudden adrenaline surge through me, one that said, "woman up, Fatniss!", and I swear I can now see things from miles away.

That was when I notice a large pack of at least a hundred wolves heading straight towards us. Wild eyes, big wild eyes. They even have these amazing green eyes, they twinkle like mad. I remember that was the trick Glove had played on me. Glove...

"THEY ARE DUPLICATES OF GLOVE'S EYES!" I cry.

The Capeetol knew her trick. Baito stands still, he recognised her eyes too. But, the pack wasn't running towards us, they were running towards Feta! Feta can't fend them off, he'll die! I have one plan, but it's not that great! I open up my backpack and search rapidly for the last piece of meat. When I eventually find it, I take it out and holler to the wolf pack just before they reach Feta. I drop the piece of meat on Baito's head. The wolves run straight for him.

"NO!" he cries. "Fatniss, you monster!"

He throws the piece of meat through the forcefield! It can only shield humans! The wolves run straight through and are soon out of sight. He has an adrenaline surge through him as he attempts to climb up! But then he realises that he has a better idea, and runs, with his knife, towards Feta. He was going to kill Feta!

"NO!" I yell.

I take out my bow and arrow and shoot Baito in the back. He takes it out as he bleeds, screeching in pain. I can finish him off, but that's the last thing I want to do. I take out my sleeping bag and run towards Feta. I wrap him up in the sleeping bag, and attempt to shove him through. The forcefield thought he was a sleeping bag! Now he was safe from Baito, even if I died, he would live.

Baito slowly gets up and sees what I have done. I smirk at him as I rush back on top of the Mournodopia. He runs towards me and looks up at me.

"YOU STUNG ME WITH TRACKER JACKERS, YOU DESTROYED MY SUPPLIES, KILLING MY ALLIES! AND THE WORST ONE, YOU KILLED GLOVE! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!"

He climbs up the Mournodopia, now with his knife. As he is nearly at the top he swings, but I have another adrenaline surge and dodge the attack quickly and grab his knife. I launch at his middle finger with it. His index finger was clean off. He collapsed onto the ground.

"BECOME BAIT, BAITO!"

He collapses to the ground. What happens next is weird. He is opening his mouth, he is clearly shouting, but I cannot hear anything. Then through the force field comes in the wolf pack! I understand now! His scream was so loud it was outside of the limit in which humans can hear! But the wolves hear it perfectly well! They sit down around him to listen to him sing his really loud song. He "sings" for about an hour. As soon as he stops, the wolves pounce. He is dead in seconds! Then the wolves run back where they came from, I don't think they were done with the meat yet.

The invisible forcefield went down so I could get to Feta. He was still wrapped in the blanket. I take out some filtered water and pour it on his face, he wakes up. He is staring at me in disbelief.

"You... killed Baito?"

"Yes... well, technically the wolves did, but they wouldn't have if it wasn't for me!"

"I wanted to fight him with you, Fatniss."

"That doesn't matter, Feta! What matters is that we survived the Hunter Games!"

"THEN WHY AREN'T WE HOME YET?" he suddenly shouts. "WHY CAN'T WE GO HOME?"

The speaker appears in the sky. "The final two tributes! They shall now battle it out!" it disappears.

It is my turn to stare at him in disbelief.

"Kill me, Fatniss." he hands me a knife. "Get it over with!"

"NO!" I yell. "I WON'T DO IT!"

"One of us has to leave."

"IF ONE OF US STAYS BEHIND, WE BOTH STAY BEHIND!" I mean't it because if I kill Feta, I will never really be able to go home, I'll always be stuck in the arena.

"Then let's do it!" he grabs some of the Nightlock from a nearby bush and hands them to me. "Let's both die."

"WHAT?" I cry.

Then he whispers, "spit them out at last second. The Capeetol would much rather two winners than none."

"OK, YEAH, LET'S BOTH DIE, LOL!"

He frowns. "The lol was unnecessary."

"IT MAY BE THE LAST TIME I SAY LOL IN MY LIFE!"

He smirks. "You just said it then."

"LET'S JUST DIE ALREADY!"

He puts the berry in his mouth, at the same time as I do. Nothing happens, the Capeetol is not buying it. But what are they not buying? I don't spit it out, I swallow. Instead I am fulfilled with a delicious flavour. Not Nightlock, a blueberry! Feta swallows and immediately begins to choke. He had given me a blueberry and given himself the Nightlock!

"You killed yourself!" I scream.

"I did it for us."

"You can't die!"

"I have to."

I try to jerk him upwards, to make him vomit, but his mouth wouldn't open. I don't want him to die, I don't want him to die. We both think this is an act, but we are very wrong. As he begins to shrivel, I yell the truth.

"THIS WASN'T AN ACT! I LOVE YOU, HOT DUDE!"

I don't know if he heard me, but he soon stops breathing.

"NO!" I start to cry.

A tube suddenly went over me as I was sucked up to a hovercraft. I cry again, I keep crying and crying and crying. I clutch my broken heart as my prep team comes to congratulate me. They really are idiots. They throw me into a dress and headband and bring me to Dina. Dina styles my hair into a side braid and leads me on stage to the ceremony to celebrate my victory, a large, golden stage outside with two seats. I don't want to celebrate, when can I at least go home? No, now we'll be neighbours with Heybich, NO! Take me back, I want to go back to Feta, I want to be back in the cave with him. I have and interview with Beesar. At least he understands a bit, he is soft as he talks and doesn't mention Feta's death. Clearly, the audience wanted some drama, as you could tell by their faces that they weren't satisfied as I went off, if only they understood! President Bow goes on stage, in a suit made of bows and invites me on stage. He doesn't take pity in me whatsoever, the death is the topic of our conversation, and doesn't comfort as I weep on stage. He crowns me in my victor crown and finally I'm allowed to leave. I run off, my head in my arms. As soon as I get to my room, I split the crown in half and sob. The other half deserves to be for Feta!

My heart is greeted with a sudden warmth as I hold the second half. I stop crying immediately and hug it, it could not be delivering a clearer message.

Feta will always live on.

In my heart.

Maybe I shouldn't have split it, President Bow will want me to wear it for the next ceremony.

Uh oh.

I run off to ask for superglue.

* * *

 **The End.**

 **Thanks for reading this comedy about Fatniss Everbean!**

 **I really enjoyed writing it, so I hope you enjoyed reading it!**


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